Sunday, October 30, 2016

Why Is This A Trend?

I really wish fashion writers would stop telling me how to dress like a French girl. 

I know, athleisure is boring to write about. So is this evergreen story. I wonder if French women laugh at us when they see these articles. 

Are they disgusted or annoyed? How do you say, "Get a life" in French. Do they get the feeling that I get when the office copycat comes in on Monday wearing the same exact outfit that I wore on Friday? 

Here are four examples:

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

J.Crew Ain't Feeling Too Hot

J. Crew isn't doing to fab. 

Not surprising. The styles are a bit hit or miss. They don't last long. Some of their salespeople tend to fat shame when assisting you. It happened to me in May in the Soho location. 

The short sleeve cotton shirtdress is not worth $70 or $98. I bought it and wore it. I gotta say, not one of my favorite dresses. The office copycat knew it was from J.Crew, which makes me want to set it on fire. 

Good luck fixing yourselves, J.Crew. Dig yourself out of that chambray and Italian tortoise-filled debt.

Monday, August 22, 2016

NARS Velvet Lip Glide

As if the Fall 2016 Audacious Collection weren't enough, NARS will be gracing us with Velvet Lip Glide. 

The Sexual Revolution of the 70s and the venues where all the magic happened is captured in this new collection. 

Smooth and sexy...

Velvet Lip Glide has NARS Oil Infusion Complex in it. This innovative lip color has a the feel of a gloss and the staying power of a lipstick. 

With the whole 90's Grunge thing going on this Fall, I am sure that these 4 shades will sell out fast:




If you are a VIB or VIB Rouge, it is available September 6th & 7th on Otherwise, you can swing by a NARS Boutique or on September 15th to grab a Velvet Lip Glide. It will be available everywhere else(department stores and Sephora) on October 1st. Start saving those $26 for your signature color. 

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Make Ovuh

How bout dem brows?

Hey! Remember that time when I was a VIB Rouge and I went to Sephora dressed like Sephora? That was fun. So was the makeover that I got. Rebecca at the Sephora on 99th and Columbus did a spectacular job. 

I am now an Algenist devotee. I love their REVEAL Color Correcting Radiant Primer. Rebecca used a fab palette from Stila. Let's not forget the badass brow from Anastasia Beverly Hills.

Go see her. 

Monday, June 6, 2016

Don't Speak To Me...

It is Monday and I am tired. 

To some assbags on the street, I look angry. By assbags, I mean leering men who were obviously raised in a misogynistic environment. Notice that I didn't say raised by cunts

"Smile", they say as I walk past. Why are they speaking to me AND telling me how to move muscles in my face? Who the frig gave them permission to engage in any sort of way with me? This is a form of street harassment and it is annoying. 

Larry hates it too...

Also, I hate when acquaintances ask, "What's wrong?" or "Are you angry?" No dummy, this is how I look. 

David DeNicolo's aptly titled article, "Resting Bitch Face" in the June issue of Allure  hit the nail on the head:

"We're only saying this once: Resting Bitch Face. Given the intrinsic misogyny of the term, and the fact that it's most often used to describe women, we'll call it RBF from now on. Not perfect but less offensive."

Needless to say, I am going on Feminist Apparel and buying this:

Yea, really...

It is $29.95 and also comes in grey or black. For those of you who prefer a different style, t-shirts or sweatshirts are available:

Great for the Stanley Cup Finals- GO SHARKS!

Also $29.95 and awesome

All I need is a Feminist Apparel T-Shirt and James Caan in a can. Then I will be invincible. 

Caan In A Can would be great. If some asshole harasses you, just spray and he pops out. 
Then he does to them what Sonny Corleone did to Carlo Rizzi in The Godfather. 

My morning commutes would be so much easier.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Today Is Da Last Day...

If you like The Strokes, you know that they have a lot going on. Their new EP, Future Present Past is out, they just played The Governors Ball. Thank God, that happened Friday and not today.

Oh and they have a cool Pop-Up Shop that closes today. It is open from now until 9PM. Move your ass. If you have 40 bucks, you can buy a Strokes T-Shirt. If you have only $15, you can buy the EP.

Look how cute this place is: